I just don’t understand how wrong the OP of this thread got it. Sarah Rees Brennan literally did say in her first essay that she told everyone who she was when she was about to get published (I remember, I was there on LJ and it was pretty awesome) and she’s clearly gotten a whole ton of crap she doesn’t deserve for that honesty. I felt more like she was trying to warn people that it would be wiser to use a pseudonym and not reveal your real name so that they wouldn’t have to go through what she’s going through. In a perfect world you could write fanfiction and then your own original fiction and no one would care but we see every single day in most fandoms that the creators of the media content we love (Teen Wolf springs to mind) think that we’re (fandom and fanartists/writers) are pretty ridiculous and stupid for the things we create from their original content. A lot of creators look down on us and deride us for exploring their world through fanfiction. So it is a pretty damn good idea to keep fanfiction as something fun and unconnected from your “real life”. Also OP seemed to miss a major point - WE SHOULD BE SUPPORTING EACH OTHER AND NOT TRYING TO DRAG EACH OTHER DOWN OR HURT EACH OTHER - and I just don’t get it. SRB appears quite open to me, she talks about all sorts of experiences she has and things that she loves and other writers/creators she loves and she is frank about things that happen to her. Why attack her?
Ok, don’t get me wrong because it’s just curiosity, but I have to ask: how much of Supernatural is in Demon’s Lexicon, if any? Please don’t get this wrong, i love your books, it’s a great story with great characters (and better storytelling, to be fair). It’s just that I started to watch it recently and some similiarities struck me. And because it would be SO great if someone made a tv show out of DL :)
Link is to a very long and thoughtful article by Sarah Rees Brennan, a successful YA author, about the penalties she has paid in her professional writing career because she once wrote fanfic.
It’s getting a fair amount of play as an example of a victim of misogyny speaking out against the forces that oppressed her, but let me be very clear about this:
SHE’S PART OF THE PROBLEM.
Has she suffered? Yes, clearly and obviously. She has been harassed, dismissed and made fun of because she wrote fanfic. You know who hates her most of all for this?
When confronted with her terrible, tragic past as a fanfic author, she felt embarrassed and humiliated. She wasn’t proud of what she had written, she was ashamed of it. She admits to pulling down all of her fic. Her essay closes with this commentary:
It was years ago. I’m sorry I did it. So much bad stuff has happened to me because of it that it feels like I committed an awful crime. I know that’s not true, and I don’t want anyone who writes fanfiction to feel that way, but it’s how I feel. I’ll never do it again.
In what way, in ANY way, is this supportive of women in fandom? Of fanfic writers? Of future original fiction authors who are currently writing fanfic now?
This whole essay is a litany of justification for marginalizing fanfic writers, by a fanfic writer: you’ll regret it later, people will make fun of you, it will damage your career, etc. etc.
It’s not that these things aren’t true, because as her experiences show, they really are. The thing is, admitting “it happened to me!” can serve either as a dire warning to others not to follow your path, or as a battle cry to stand up for yourself. Sarah Rees Brennan fell squarely on the former, no matter her very minor insistence that “it shouldn’t be this way!” Essentially, her conclusion was not “I did nothing wrong and was attacked for it, those bastards” but “it’s my own fault I was humiliated and not taken seriously! Shame on me!!!!”
There are times when you can’t stand up to your attackers, for whatever reason, and I don’t judge her for not being a warrior 100% of the time. But she never even tried to stand up for herself, not during or after the attacks, and not now. She feels bad about writing fanfic instead. She goes out of her way to prove that nothing she’s ever written was in any way influenced by her fandoms (I seriously doubt that, and worse, claiming that is in no way going to convince her detractors it’s not true; all she’s doing is disowning something that was once important to her and remains important to other people for the sake of approval by the mainstream publishing world. Let me know how that works out for ya’. Great example you’re setting there, hooyeah.)
What I want is a world where a fanfic-turned-pro author of original YA stories, when asked if she ever wrote fanfic, says “Hell yeah, what, you’ve got a problem with that?”
A world where women aren’t ashamed of the hobbies we’ve claimed for ourselves, and don’t feel the need to excuse our “poor behavior” for the sake of mainstream validation.
If you are a young woman who writes fanfic, please, I beg of you: DO NOT LISTEN TO SARAH REES BRENNAN.
Write what you love. Explore. Move on. Return to your roots. Stand up for yourself. Defend what you love.
Don’t take shit from anyone who tries to shame you into social compliance.
Me, I’ve actually posted several defenses of fanfiction. I write erotica under under a pseudonym, my fics under a different, and my scholarly work is under my real name. If someone outed me as a fic writer, whoop-de-doo. I honestly don’t care at this point in my life. My boss doesn’t care, my mortgage company certainly doesn’t, and if I’m outed, I’ll defend it. A LOT of the so-called canon is basically fan fiction, and it’s about time that someone pointed this out.
What I want is a world where a fanfic-turned-pro author of original YA stories, when asked if she ever wrote fanfic, says “Hell yeah, what, you’ve got a problem with that?”
Meet Seanan McGuire. Her YA hasn’t been published yet, but she has a lot of urban fantasy and horror-flavored sci-fi books.
Seanan McGuire is amazing. I really love her books and I think she’s a wonderful person.
However, I am not a fan of the idea that we need to condemn one woman (uh, in this case: me) to lift up another.
Nor am I a fan of people saying women should be ashamed of themselves for their own feelings—or for talking about those feelings.
I’m not, when I think rationally about it, ashamed I wrote fanfiction.
I’m SORRY I did it. I regret doing it because it led to such horrible consequences. That doesn’t mean it was a bad thing to do. I’m also sorry I walked down the street where I got mugged. It was not at all my fault I was mugged, but I sure am sorry I went down that street, it turned out poorly for me! That’s a crucial difference.
If I have sometimes felt ashamed—it is because people are constantly trying to shame me, and it is HARD not to feel ashamed when that happens. That’s how misogyny works—horrible things happen to you, crappy things are said about you, until you feel ashamed of things you originally didn’t feel ashamed of.
I’m so tired. I’m almost tired enough to just wish I hadn’t written the essay at all. I certainly do wish I’d used pseudonyms like one of the posters above—there’s a reason people use pseudonyms.
I’m so tired, but I do want to stand up for myself and for others. So let’s take this point by point. (As ever—please, dearest darling readers, don’t go after the poster, or anyone else involved. It feels so unbelievably awful to be gone after. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Let me do this.)
‘You know who hates her most of all for this?
I don’t hate myself.
A lot of people hate me, and they keep telling me that I’m a terrible writer, that I’m ugly, that I’m a bad example, that I should shut up. But I don’t believe them, and I don’t hate myself.
I try to be a good person, and I think sometimes I succeed. I think I’ve written good if flawed books and I’m really proud of them, even though people tell me I shouldn’t be.
I don’t need to say ‘Shame on me!’ when other people are telling me I’m ‘PART OF THE PROBLEM’ in capitals as if the most important thing I should know is that I should definitely be ashamed of myself for something.
‘In what way, in ANY way, is this supportive of women in fandom? Of fanfic writers? Of future original fiction authors who are currently writing fanfic now?’
This is some stuff I said in the essay that is supportive of women in fandom and fanfic writers.
‘I think it would be great if fandom wanted to celebrate its own’' (because its own have done some seriously impressive things, as listed in the essay)
‘I’m troubled by the way people, inside and outside of fandom, consistently act like being a published writer who used to write fanfiction is something shameful that those writers should be punished for.' (If I'm troubled by it… does it not follow that I don't feel that way?)
‘I still think fanfiction is lovely and fandom can be lovely.’
‘I think fanfiction is a really lovely idea. I think it’s cool that people love a story so much they want to write more stories spinning off it, what-ifs and could-have-beens, that they want to spend more time with the characters and in a world they love. They love the story so much they want to devote a lot of time and work to it. That is great.’
I think that’s supportive. I do support them. I have tried to reply to every fanfiction writer or former fanfiction writer who wrote to me—or who I just saw talking about the essay—with reassurance and support.
The original poster goes on to say:
'What I want is a world where a fanfic-turned-pro author of original YA stories, when asked if she ever wrote fanfic, says “Hell yeah, what, you’ve got a problem with that?”'
Wonderful! You have that world. I WAS open about it from the very start. I told everyone my name, I connected it all up. I said ‘Hell yeah.’ Whenever people asked me if I’d written it, I said yes. I often volunteered the information. I wasn’t ‘embarrassed and humiliated’ by that—but I did often feel truly horrible that malicious strangers would come and try to make me feel horrible by mentioning it, often in the same breath as telling me how awful I was or how awful my books were.
Being open had consequences. Discussing those consequences is important to me, because I cannot be a one-woman engine of change, and I’m not ashamed I cannot be. I think we all need to change.
What *I* want is a world where people can be open about having written fanfic, and not be told how awful they are both by the ‘mainstream’ and *by fandom itself*.
‘She goes out of her way to prove that nothing she’s ever written was in any way influenced by her fandoms (I seriously doubt that, and worse, claiming that is in no way going to convince her detractors it’s not true; all she’s doing is disowning something that was once important to her and remains important to other people for the sake of approval by the mainstream publishing world’
… Uh, if I was going for approval by the mainstream publishing world, I would have shut my mouth about fanfiction a) way back then and b) NOW. Ladies going on about sexism and fanfiction isn’t actually a golden ticket to mainstream publishing success. (Being a guy, writing about guys, being a quiet well-behaved woman: all likely to turn out better.)
When people want to dismiss work, they say that it’s fanfic, and I think that’s messed up for several reasons.
I was actually very open about being influenced by work that I loved in my books. I wrote a ton of essays about said influences. Here is a relevant example of something I’m a huge fan of and that my recent series was definitely influenced by: http://sarahreesbrennan.com/2012/08/veronica-mars-is-smarter-than-everybody/
But people ignored the stuff I said I was influenced by, said I HAD to be influenced by other things and if I wasn’t they ‘seriously doubt that’, and I think that’s messed up.
The original poster is right saying that me saying something isn’t going to convince my detractors. I wasn’t trying to convince my detractors. I was saying ‘Why do I have these detractors, saying this very specific stuff? Let’s examine this. I think that’s messed up.’
The detractors said that I was definitely influenced by stuff I *don’t even like*, and said that meant my books were bad. I also think that’s messed up, on several levels.
To be absolutely clear: people saying I was lying about not being influenced by certain other works? Messed up.
People saying that books being influenced by other works means they’re bad? Also messed up.
When people talk about disliking a creator they compare them to fanfiction writers (even when they themselves are fanfiction writers) and I think that’s messed up: http://c-is-for-circinate.tumblr.com/post/79943493068/also-a-note-the-pain-goes-away-almost
It’s this self-hatred, constantly and casually expressed, that we need to recognise and think about. I think we need to stop being so down on fanfic, consciously and unconsciously, and I also think we need to stop being down on fanfic writers, both past and present. I think we need to stop being down on each other. I think we need to stop being so down on women writers, women’s actions and women’s hobbies, and women generally. I think we shouldn’t expect women, real and fictional, to be ‘examples’ before they are anything else.
I think there needs to be a shift in attitude across the board.
I don’t think I should be ashamed of wishing that I hadn’t been hurt like this.
And I don’t think I should be shamed for being honest about my feelings. This happened to me and it felt horrible. This happened to me, people treated me this way, I had these feelings, and they are legitimate. I can express them.
I don’t think I should be ashamed of writing fanfiction. I also don’t think that it should have led to any of the consequences I described in my essay. But it did.
I don’t think that writing this essay should have led to my picture getting mocked online, my looks and my personality being torn apart, but it did.
I don’t think that writing this essay should have led to people telling me to shut up about sexism, that I don’t deserve to talk about it, and calling me a ‘whiny baby’ over and over again for doing so, but it did.
It is very, very hard to feel good about yourself under circumstances like these, and I think it’s okay to talk about that, too.
Women are not only valuable if they remain somehow miraculously untouched and unaffected by the terrible things that have happened to them. Women who have been hurt should be allowed to talk about their complicated feelings about being hurt.
I don’t think the original poster and I actually disagree on fundamentals. (Well, the original poster thinks I should be ashamed and that I’m a liar. We disagree on me!) The original poster thinks that women should stand up for themselves: so do I. The original poster thinks fanfiction isn’t anything to be ashamed of: so do I.
I’m sure I didn’t say things perfectly. Nobody does.
But here’s the thing: It’s a lot easier to condemn one woman, to say that she said things wrong and thus is a bad person should be ashamed of herself, than it is to say ‘This is a messed-up system and it’s messing people up and it needs to change.’
My essay didn’t close with the commentary saying I was sorry I’d written fanfiction.
What I said at the end of the essay—you know, what I wrote to sum up all the most important stuff—holds true. I’m not ashamed of saying it.
‘I don’t want teenage girls writing fanfiction now to feel that they’re doing something inherently terrible, which must be hidden if they ever want to be real writers. I don’t want the writers of the future to get it in the neck like I do.
We have got to stop treating women like garbage (especially when we are women).
We have got to stop treating women’s hobbies like garbage (especially when they are our hobbies).’
I believe that. I believe in the writers of the future. I believe that a lot of them are going to be former/current fanfiction writers, and I believe they should have it easier than I did.
… So please. Stop treating me like garbage. My point is being proven over and over again. And I’m still not ashamed to say: it does hurt. It hurts a lot. I’m not talking about this for ‘mainstream validation’—talking about having written fanfiction is no way to get mainstream validation. I’m not saying it to ‘justify marginalizing fanfic writers’ because I was marginalised and it was horrible and I don’t want it to happen to anyone else.
Believe me, I wouldn’t be talking about this if it was just me. I know that talking about it only means I will get hurt more. I know that talking about it means I will go into my tag and see this stuff, and cry my damn eyes out (I know, I know, I have feelings and I express them through my face, I’m such a whiny baby/hysterical woman/bitch/bad example). I know what happens because I keep getting proof.
I am not going to benefit by writing this, and I did not benefit by writing my previous essay. This is not going to do me any good or get me approval. This is horrible to talk about. Just talking about it has had even more horrible consequences for me and believe me when I say, I was already sick to the teeth of horrible consequences.
'She never even tried to stand up for herself’
I’m only talking about it because *this* is standing up for myself and others, the only way I know how—by being as honest as I can. I’m only talking about it because I believe it’s important, and I believe it might spare other women in the future—other women who are girls now.
Actually, I’m happy to say what the original poster wanted me to say, though I’m not going to call anyone names or tell them how they should feel about themselves.
I will say this.
I did nothing wrong (even though sometimes it feels like I did, because of how people have treated me) and I was attacked for it. And I’m still being attacked for it.
Only acceptable response.
if only other girls would take this response to heart
I wish people would really watch this movie and see what a dildo that girl was to her. She’s just saving her ass with this at the end and seeing this pisses me off.
FUCKING YES. TROOTH
I hate that fucking movie and I see it on here all the time with
“Hell yes, so cute!”
STop it. You. Right there. Stop it. watch the moovie.
I don’t know why you decided to send me this message to defend Bryan Fuller.
I’m talking about the (few) female characters on the show being fridged (and the impact of that) and you’re on about accuracy in the books. As I recall, Beverly’s still alive in Red Dragon, so he fridged her before her time—so much for “staying loyal to the books.”
Apparently giving Beverly (and by this person’s logic, every other female he’s developed - Alana, Bedelia, Freddie, Bella) too much screen time will “screw up” the original Thomas Harris books….when we eventually get there (if we eventually get there).
Remember folks, Red Dragon isn’t until season 4, if season 4 ever happens.
And as of Red Dragon, the Hobbs girl (unnamed in the book) and Beverly are still alive. But you know, if just might screw up canon if we left them alive and let them get too important. Or something.
How do you logic?
Price and Zeller have also had more screentime than their book counterparts. Why weren’t they on the chopping block?
Are we going to have to kill off Alana, too? And Bella, who doesn’t actually die until Silence of the Lambs? Are we going to need to get rid of them before they can get too important for “the narrative”?
Just a remind to everyone: Thomas Harris had a lot of problems, but his women lived.
Reba McClane, the blind woman that Francis Dolarhyde fell in love with, survives, even though Francis planned to kill her.
Molly Foster Graham takes down Dolarhyde after he attacks her family, shooting him despite little training.
Catherine Martin survives being held captive by Jame Gumb, using every ounce of her survival instinct to do so.
Clarice survives her basement encounter with Jame Gumb, and gets out of there along with Catherine Martin.
And there are others. Wendy, Beverly, the Hobbs girl.
Harris wrote women who lived, who survived.
Why is it unrealistic for Fuller to do the same?
march 16-22, 2014: saying goodbye to some of television’s most compelling female characters.
- allison argent (teen wolf)
- audrey bidwell (the blacklist)
- lucy brooks/”jolene” (the blacklist)
- beverly katz (hannibal)
I understand that the networks and writers didn’t band together and say, “Let’s destroy these characters all at once,” but it really does say something that there were at least four significant female characters killed in the last week on cable television. Some of these women were leads, others supporting cast, but all were killed and killed violently.
The response that audiences have had to this varies by character, naturally. Some characters were thought to be killed for shock-value, while others were killed to fuel a male-dominated storyline. Their purpose became emotional-incentive for a male character to leap into hero/vigilante-mode. Their deaths provided emotional incentive, but devalued as the powerful women that they were. Their purpose was ultimately to trigger a quest for vengeance or alarm the audience, and this demeans their individual competencies and reduces them to a motif.
One writer talks of his character’s death with glee. One writer forbade the actress for making a final decision that she thought would be appropriate for her character’s finale scene, for her last words.
Most, if not all, of these characters were strong and self-sufficient. But they weren’t treated respectfully in death. Many were unceremoniously removed from the picture, rather than dying with dignity or a proper fight — only the illusion of one. One particular character will be placed in the centre of a death-tableau. More murder porn. One was shot, died, and disappeared from sight within the course of 30-seconds. This without even mentioning that one show almost killed off two POC in one episode.
It concerns me that these images are continuing to perpetuate our culture with violence against women and male dominance. Female characters are rarely seen avenging their male counterparts, and male characters are rarely seen mourning or behaving sympathetically towards women; we continue to see the aggressive, stereotypically-reserved man and the “strong” woman who couldn’t save herself, but whose death will be justly addressed by the surviving male. The world is already dangerous enough for women. What we need are stories with strong female characters who take care of themselves and survive. We can’t make much progress when the media perpetuates violence against women as an almost-ritual norm, to whatever end.
We are not here to give your men purpose. We have our own. We are not here to die and shock your audience. There are simply too many women reduced to male motivation and plot devices. Give us a chance to fight for ourselves, have our own stories and live our own lives rather than living to make men’s interesting or dramatic.
You know, I never realized just how many cowards there are in this world. So many who walk away from any real confrontation or stance.
My world has been shaped by this community of punk rock and hardcore music. A collective of misfits who came together and bonded over frustrations and insecurities - even if we won’t freely admit it. So when someone in my world, of my mindset, begins to display aggressively passive behaviors to things we all agree are fucked, it’s beyond disappointing.
Today we read that Steve from New Found Glory was arraigned on multiple charges of child molestation and counts of child porn on his computer. And almost as quickly as people were erupting in outrage, there was a small group of people out there immediately defending him. And it made me think - why? Why are people so quick to defend something so serious. Something that we know is so offensively common in our world. And what I realized is that it’s not so much that he was in a band they liked as much as it is that they are cowards.
Oh sure, the band had a lot to do with it. I mean, if you found out the guy who handed you your latte every morning was arraigned on multiple counts of child molestation you probably wouldn’t want to see him much less defend him. So why? Because you know multiple charges like that don’t just appear out of nowhere. But this has more to do with people being terrified to confront that what they know is wrong. We all would like to pretend that the people we know and the things we bought into over our lifetime is real and true because if it wasn’t, well then, that means we got fooled. And no one likes being the fool.
I know this because one of my my best friends of 20 years recently got accused of rape for the 4th time. And that’s four times too many. He was pulled into the police station and questioned but there was no evidence because the victim, who had the courage to walk into a police station and give a statement, unfortunately waited too long so he was let go. And just like that he’s back on the streets. Going to shows. Walking the sidewalks. Chatting with friends and even still employed as a security guard at one of Chicago’s most prominent venues. I’m sure this will get back to him at some point and I say, I don’t give a fuck. I believed in him and I was fooled. I’ve seen the damage and months of trauma in the eyes of his most recent victims and I chose to draw a line in the sand. I’m here - and rapist and rape-apologists are over there. I chose to cut ties with multiple people who support him. People I was GOOD friends with. Why? Not because they’re simple cowards, but because they have weak hearts. Because they choose to go on shaking his hand and asking about his day and when you do that, you’re saying “I don’t believe you” to his victims. And call me crazy, but I actually believe in this community. One that bonds over the fucked up matters in this world and actively raises and hand that says “I want no part of that.” And when you brush the darkest parts of humanity, rape and child abuse, under the rug because the accused is in a “cool band” or they “play sports really well” or “well, they’re nice to me” - you become part of the problem.
I was a victim of child abuse. And maybe that is why I take this so seriously. And maybe that’s why you don’t. Because maybe you were never a five year old boy that had to live through it. Because you never had to have someone NOT believe you. And maybe it’s because you never knew what it was like when your father was laughing and shaking hands and singing along to songs and having friends over for dinner when you knew how dark and rotten of a human being he was at night.
If there is one thing that I need you to take away from this is RAPISTS AND CHILD MOLESTERS DON’T LOOK LIKE RAPISTS AND CHILD MOLESTERS! They look like your friends or your doctors or your bus drivers or your moms or your dads or like ANYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! Rapists and child molesters laugh and sing and dance and drink beer and eat pizza just like you! So just because you say to yourself, “Well, I mean, he was nice to me!” Doesn’t mean shit to the victim. I’ve met Steve from NFG a few times, I have hung out with Ian Watkins from Lost Prophets and I lived with my father for years and guess what? They were all really nice guys - until they thought they could get away with the crime of taking advantage of a child.
Your apathy isn’t cool or edgy or punk.
It’s a trite and old joke that only shows just how insincere you truly are.
"If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything" is all bullshit rhetoric if when it comes time to take a real stance and draw a line in the sand you would rather take the path of least resistance. And I don’t want those people in my life. When you know rape statistics (2-6% account for false claims) which means roughly there’s a 94% chance an accused rapist is guilty, combined with the fact that you know MOST victims never press charges, why would you NOT choose to believe a victim?
Because most people are fucking cowards and don’t back up their words. And while that infuriates me, it’s worse for the victims. Because when you immediately back a “famous dude” - you’re telling that five year old boy, that 14 year old girl, that 21 year old woman, that they are a liar.
And that makes you a goddamn shameful coward.
I do not see Neil Gaiman getting chased around and called a plagiarist like I was this summer when I wrote three words which also appear in the Hunger Games! (And before that, as it turns out, in The Emperor’s New Groove. Llamas, sue the Hunger Games!)
I am very tired of seeing women insulted for things every dude in the world is allowed to do. It is not literary critique. It is violent misogyny.
One Shade of Grey
An in-progress complete annotation of Fifty Shades of Grey.
I love you.
Mail it to the author when you’re done.
You’re my new hero.
*slow clap* I applaud you.
THIS IS THE ONLY THING THIS BOOK IS GOOD FOR
i would pay money for an exact copy of this annotation
CAN YOU DO TWILIGHT?!
Ugh fucking dickbag of a bus driver. I ran to get to the bus home and he’d just indicated that he was leaving the stop but the traffic lights were red just in front of him so he couldn’t go anywhere anyway but he completely fucking ignored me even when I knocked on the door. HE LITERALLY HAD NOT EVEN LEFT THE FUCKING BUS STOP. I’m so fucking mad what a dick. 20 mins til the next one ugh
"NAME ONE THING THATS BETTER IN AMERICA THAN IN BRITAIN"
Found this gem on facebook. I don’t think people understand, it was just Christmas and people get gifts. But no, if you’re poor, you’re not allowed to have a North Face jacket because it might make someone else jealous. There should be a law that if you get a good gift that might make someone jealous and you also receive food stamps, that gift should be revoked by the government immediately and then given to said jealous person because how dare youuuuuu.
And if you dare save up for something expensive you should be allowed to buy it but then you are only allowed to give it to the jealous person who doesn’t receive food stamps.
But seriously, what is with people making automatic assumptions. “How dare you have your nails done if you’re poor!” “How dare you have a smart phone if you’re poor!” There is a certain standard that people have for those less fortunate. You must dress in squalor and if you dare dress nicely you’re feeding off the system and Obama should be ashamed.
So I said, “I think in these types of situation it’s best not to assume something about a person you don’t know but instead be grateful that you don’t have to be one at the store in a North Face jacket given to you by your aunt or someone nice being judged because you don’t look poor enough.”
You don’t see poor people doing the opposite. “OMG she can’t even afford a North Face jacket yet she’s buying food. SMDH.”
Just a quick point: Ever get a nice score at a thrift store? I have found Coach purses for $10, Sorel arctic weight boots with tags still on for $20, and a Michael Kors top for $4. Those are just thing I can think of off the top of my head.
Also, that jacket or smart phone could be from a time went they were more financially stable. If you have a nice North Face jacket, you aren’t getting rid of that and buying a cheap Walmart coat just to appease the judgmental fucks in the grocery store. You aren’t going to sell all your nice stuff for whatever you can get just so people aren’t bitter when you use your SNAP card.
I pawned a Columbia parka in Wyoming for grocery money once and that was fucking stupid. I didn’t apply for food assistance because I was afraid of being judged. Instead, I wound up with $40, which lasted for almost four weeks, and no coat in -30°F weather. Would that be better? If your answer is yes, you’re an asshole.
I dk how cold -30 f is, but after a childhood on welfare, an adulthood spent working minimum wage and less than a year working a living wage, I bought a $200 coat.
I agonized over it. I hated myself. I kept looking at where else the $200 could have gone, what I could have done with it. I didn’t deserve it, I was selfish and stupid and greedy.
Because you internalize that idea, that notion that you, a poor person, don’t deserve a good coat, that buying a down jacket is wasted on you, you should be buying a cheap coat and spending your money on other cheap shit that won’t fucking work to do the things you need it to do.
This winter has been bitter cold. -38 c with the windchill on the regular, sometimes colder.
Now, the only thing I’m angry about when it comes to my coat, is that none of my family members and very few of my friends, can afford it. Meaning they can’t afford to be warm. And even if they could afford it, they’d never buy it, because they’d think they didn’t deserve it.